A New Life Begins
by freezipoptearz
Summary: *SPOILER ALERT FOR CoLS* Clary is looking at starting a new life with Jace, moving into the Institute, but will she get more than she bargained for?
1. Chapter 1: A Cause for Celebration

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMI or any of the characters used in this story, I only wish :(. All characters and TMI belong to Cassandra Clare.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 1:Cause for Celebration… Or Not

I was in the bathroom that Jace and I now shared. Everything was in its own perfect place, just as he liked, except for the pregnancy test on the corner of the sink. While I waited for the test to show me either the positive or negative sign, I thought about what had brought me to this moment.

After I had run Jace through with Glorious, and knew he had forgiven me, I decided that since I lived with the possessed version of him I had every right to live with the real him.

My mom was furious when I told her I was moving into the Institute, and she had looked at me with anger, but only said I was going to get myself hurt.

I was now putting my things away in the room I had stayed in when I first found out I was a Shadowhunter. I wasn't going to push the issue of trying to get any closer to Jace, especially when he still had Heaven's Fire coursing through his system. Deep in thought, I unpacked my drawing materials and placed them on the desk, next to my stele.

"Now, why would the love of my life be unpacking in a room that is not hers?" Jace said from behind me.

Just the sound of his voice made me jump and grab for my stele. "Oh, Angel! Jace, you scared the hell out of me!" I said, "What are you doing out of the infirmary?"

"The Silent Brothers have finished examining me. I thought you would be happier to see me," he pouted slightly before switching to his normal cocky smile.

Slowly, putting my stele back on the desk, I walked to him. He was still afraid to touch me, but I brought his arms up and wrapped them around me. "I am happy to see you," I said, putting me ear to his chest and listening to the soft thumps of his heart.

"Clary," he warned.

"I'm fine," I assured him before stepping out of his careful embrace. And then I remembered what he had said when he entered the room. "What did you mean I was unpacking in a room that isn't mine?"

"This isn't your room," he said simply.

"Yes it is. This is where I stayed the first time I came here," I reminded him.

"I'm well aware of that, but this is not your room anymore." He smiled again, but this time sweetly.

"I'm confused."

"Come with me, my Clary." He offered his hand to me.

I accepted the familiar grasp, and he led me through the Institute. The way was familiar, but I hadn't expected the destination. We stopped in front of the door that opened to his room.

"This is your room," he announced.

"But this is your room," I said dumbly.

He nodded, "And yours," he gave my hand a light squeeze, "It's our room."

A slow smile spread across my face.

"I'll help you move all your stuff later, but for now, you should go relax a bit."

At that, I hesitated.

"What's wrong, Clary?"

"If I'm relaxing, where are you going?"

"To get some fresh air. I have been locked in the infirmary for weeks you know."

How could I forget? The Silent Brothers had refused to let me see him again after Brother Zachariah had let me pass.

"Don't worry," he said, more serious now, "I won't be gone long. Just go lay down for a bit, and I will join you soon."

I nodded and entered his room, but like he said, this was my room too now. Everything was in order, neat and clean. Jace always kept everything this way, and I had wondered for some time if it was to be in control of something in his life.

The bed was made, and it looked very inviting. I pulled back the blankets to climb under them, and was relieved to feel that they were warm. This winter had been the coldest I've ever experienced.

No wonder Jace told me to lie down, I felt exhausted now, and I wouldn't be surprised if I looked the same way. I laid my head on his pillows and instantly smelled his scent, relaxing me further. I closed my eyes, and soon I drifted into comfortable sleep.

"Clary, please wake up, my angel," Jace was gently holding my face. His voice was quiet, but not serious.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, sounding way too groggy to myself.

"About an hour," he replied, "I guess you were more tired than you looked."

I nodded. "Finally coming to bed?" I inquired.

He only slightly tilted his head down.

"Are you still worried you are going to hurt me with the Heaven's Fire?"

"I- Maybe- Can we try something, Clary?"

Jace sounded nervous now. "What's wrong, Jace?"

"I just- You know how we talked about what almost happened in Paris? And how I said it was probably off the table for a while?"

I kept looking at him, waiting for him to continue, and finally said, "Yes, why?"

"Maybe it doesn't have to be off the table. Maybe we could- Maybe I can control it better than I think. I just want to be with you. I want you to know the depth of how I feel."

My breath was coming fast now, and I had no idea what I should say. I had wanted this for so long. Now that Jace was saying he wanted to, I was scared. The thought of losing my virginity had seemed easy while I had whisked myself away to my psycho brother's secret hideout, but, now, I was having second thoughts.

I knew I had to say something; Jace's expression was turning from nervous to worried. "Are you sure?" was all I could come up with.  
His eyes searched my face before he said, "I told you in the apartment, I wanted to when it was the real me and the real you. We are ourselves. Unless you aren't ready, in which case, we can wait."

The only reply I could come up with was to gently pull him into bed with me. I needed him to hold me, especially after how long it had been since the possessed him had held me every night in the now destroyed apartment. His arms wrapped around me and I scooted as close to his body as I could. Jace was warm, and the feel of him this close to me again was comforting to me.

"Clary, we don't have to."

"I know, but we should at least try. It's not like we are going to have something else go wrong in our lives."

He smiled and tilted my head up so he could kiss me.

Warm sunlight streamed in through the window, shining in my face. I always hated waking up early, but once I was up, I was up.

I could still feel Jace's arms around me, and I was happy to know he hadn't tried to prevent contact with me. I would have been worried if he had, considering what had happened last night.

The memory was still fresh in my mind, every touch, every feeling, the way he had been so gentle with me. He had nearly lost control, but somehow didn't burn me, not once.

I tried getting up without waking him, but as soon as I was at the edge of our bed, he pulled me back.

"Where are you going?" he asked, voice thick with sleep.

"Just to the bathroom."

"You sure you aren't trying to climb out the window?" His humor crept into his tone.

I only nodded.

"I guess since I'm awake now, there is no way for you to escape. Come back to bed when you are done on the bathroom?"

"I don't know, should I?"

He kissed me, "Go on."

I headed for the open door that led to the conjoining bathroom and shut the door.

It was strange, I didn't feel any different. I still felt like the same person with the same attitude, the same way of thinking, the same everything. But none of that mattered. I was happy, and that's all I cared about.

"Clary, you need to wake up. It's almost time for training."

"I don't wanna, you can't make me." I know I was acting childish, but I hadn't slept very well the night before.

"You should be used to this by now, how long has it been since you moved in?" Jace said. He had been happy the day I had all my stuff moved to his room.

"Long enough to want to sleep in past dawn," I replied.

In all reality, it had been nearly three months since I left my mom's house. I had needed the change, and, since then, my mom and I had been getting along better.

The feeling of my stomach rolling brought me back to Jace, staring at my emerald eyes. I guess I must be hungry. "Can we get something to eat first at least?" I asked.

His famous smile flashed for only a second before he said, "I guess we could eat something quick."

I pulled the blanket back and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, ready to leave the warm sanctuary of our bed. Jace offered his hand, helping me to stand up. We were headed to the bedroom door when my stomach rolled again, and then a sudden rise of bile had me running to our bathroom.

"Clary, are you alright?" I heard Jace say, clearly worried. I couldn't answer.

I made it to the toilet before dropping to my knees and emptying my stomach of all contents. Tears were running down my face and my throat was burning.

"You're okay, it's okay," Jace was saying behind me, rubbing my back comfortingly. "Maybe you should stay in bed today."

I only nodded while he helped me up. I walked to the sink to rinse my mouth, then he helped me get back to bed.

This had to be the reason I lost sleep last night.

"I'll be close, just let me know if you need anything," he offered. A gently placed kiss touched my forehead, the blankets pulled up around me, and the soft touch of a caress on my cheek. Then I was alone in bed.

My stomach was feeling better, and I wanted to get some fresh air.

"Jace!" I called.

True to his word, he had stayed close. I could hear his footsteps coming down the hall, almost at a run. It took him seconds to enter our room, come to my side of the bed, and immediately ask, "Are you okay? Do you need something? Is something wrong?"

He was over-worried in my opinion, but then again, after all that we've been put through, he had every reason to be. "I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know I was feeling better, and was wondering if you could take me to get some fresh air."

Jace tried to hide the look of relief with a look of humor. "I guess that could help, at least a little anyway."

For the rest of the day I felt fine, I figured it was probably one of those 12 hour flus or something. The good thing was I got through it, meaning I wouldn't get it again until at least next year.

Training had gone well, Jace taught me a new grapple hold, and we had been able to go on a walk through town and talk about things. It had been a long while since we were able to talk like this. All the demon hunting and training, and lets not forget the Silent Brothers trying to figure out how to get rid of the Heaven's Fire in Jace. It was a nice change of pace.

But all I wanted now was to get some sleep. This day had been way too long. He was holding me now, and I could hear the quiet breaths he let out, letting me know he was sleeping. I cuddled myself closer to him before closing my eyes and drifting off to dream land.

_It was almost dawn, but I was already awake. Pain was going through my back, and I wasn't in bed with Jace. I was in the infirmary, with him sitting in a chair next to my bed, holding my hand. What had happened? Why was I here?_

_ "Everything will be okay, Clary. You just need to hang in there. I know it hurts, but by the end it will be worth it," he told me._

_ "But are we really ready for this? I don't know that we are," I was crying, scared._

_ "Don't worry about that now, the pain will go away soon."_

_ Another sharp, piercing pain ripped through my back._

I sat upright, waking out of the dream, and waking Jace as well.

"What is it, Clary?"

"I just had the weirdest dream. I- I don't know. I was just surprised I guess."

He pulled me closer, kissing my forehead, and then my lips. "We should get back to sleep, we can talk about it in the morning?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

Jace was holding me tight, but as he started to fall back asleep, his grip loosened. I tried to follow suit, but the dream was bothering me. I had had the feeling of being in labor, as if I were pregnant and almost giving birth. But that couldn't be right, could it? I would know if I was pregnant, wouldn't I?

The scene played over and over in my head until the sun came up and Jace was awake again.

"Would you like to talk about the dream now?" he asked softly.

I shook my head, "No, it was just some stupid dream about a cat and a scratching post, " I lied, "Nothing to really talk about."

His smile was warm, and he started to get out of bed, "I'm going to go take a shower, I'll see you in the kitchen."

And with that, he headed for the bathroom.

I got dressed, being thankful that today was one of our resting days, and headed not for the kitchen, but Izzy's room.

The door was slightly ajar, but I still knocked regardless.

"Go away Alec, I'm not interested in what you think about the way I dress," she said without looking up.

"Actually," I said, "It's me."

"Oh! Sorry, Clary. Alec has been really nitpicky about how I look lately. He can be so annoying sometimes. Come in," she waved her hand, gesturing it safe to enter.

I walked in and closed the door behind me, not wanting anyone but Izzy to hear what I was saying. "Izzy, I need you to do something for me. And I need you to not tell Jace anything about it."

She stopped applying her lip gloss and looked at me, obviously worried about what I might want her to do. "Clary, what happened? Are you and Jace breaking up? What did he do? Because I know he would never-"

"Izzy! Calm down. We aren't breaking up. I just need to figure something out, and I don't want Jace to know unless I'm sure."

Her mouth hung open for a second before she said, "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

My face burned, making me sure that I was blushing a deep shade of red. "That's what I want to figure out. I don't know if I am or not, but I had this weird dream last night- Will you help or not?"

"How could I help you with that?"

"I need you to go get the pregnancy test for me. I know you have had a few scares of your own, so another wouldn't alert Alec or Jace to be suspicious of anything. Please, Izzy. I need to know for sure."

"So to be clear," she said after a few moments of silence, "You aren't breaking up with Jace."

"No."

"But you think you might be pregnant."

"Yes."

"And if you are, it is Jace's."

"Yes."

"And you need me to sneak you a test so you can know for sure."

I only nodded at this point, worried Jace would be done with his shower soon and overhear this conversation.

"I can do that for you, knowing you are the only person who makes my brother feel happy. You are pretty much my sister now, after all."

"Thank you. Now I need to get to the kitchen before Jace gets there, see you at breakfast."

I left the room and headed for the kitchen, finding that Jace had not gotten there yet, which meant there would be no way for him to have heard what was said.

Looking through the cupboards, I hear Jace come up behind me, "Decided what we are having yet?" he asked.

I shook my head and turned in his arms to face him. Heaven's Fire increased his warmth, but not uncomfortably so, and I buried my head in his chest to listen to his steady beating heart. The thump-thump-thump was rhythmic and comforting, until a wave of nausea hit me. I pushed Jace away and ran for the bathroom again.

"Clary?"

Instead of leaving the door open, I slammed it shut and locked it. This was getting scary. First I get sick, then I have a weird dream, and now I'm sick again.

There was knocking on the door, "Clary, what's wrong?"

I could only answer with throwing up.

"What's going on?" I heard Alec say, "Did she get the flu that's been going around?"

"I don't know, she locked the door."

The minutes stretched out, and all I wanted was to stop puking. When I finally had, I rinsed my mouth the best I could and hoped Izzy was out getting the test for me.

I unlocked the door and cracked it open to see that Jace was leaning against the opposite wall, looking so worried that the Heaven's Fire was turning his skin translucent. "Clary, what the hell is going on?" he said in a controlled voice.

"I'm sorry, Jace. I don't know what's wrong," I replied quietly, knowing I wasn't telling an exact lie, just what I knew for sure, "I'm just not feeling well."

His skin slowly turned back to normal and his expression softened. "Maybe Izzy can help. She is the best of us at making remedies for upset stomachs."

Oh, Izzy could help alright, but not in the way Jace thinks. Thinking this, I only nodded.

"She went out, but I'll have her come look are you when she gets home," Alec supplied.

"Thanks, Alec. I'm going to go lay down in bed."

"Let me know if I can do anything for you," Jace said.

Nodding again, I turned around and headed for our room.

The door seemed to be larger than normal, maybe because of how sick I have been feeling. Regardless, I opened it and made my way to my side of the bed. It was made, which meant Jace had made the bed before leaving our room. Again, I pulled the blankets away from the top half of the bed and climbed in.

Now all I could do was wait for Izzy to come to me with the test.

"Clary, are you awake?" Izzy's voice came from the hallway, a soft knock sounded on the door.

It took me a few seconds to wake up enough to answer, "Come in."

She creaked the door open and entered alone. "Heard you threw up," she said, "Again." Izzy sounded scornful.

"I figured it was just a twelve hour flu kind of thing, until the dream I had last night."

She lifted her hand to show a small plastic bag, "I got what you asked for. Do you want me to wait?"

"Please, and don't let Jace find out what's going on."

I grabbed the bag out of her hand and climbed out of bed to get to the bathroom.

And so I was waiting for the results. About a minute more until it was ready.

Was I prepared for the result? To be honest with myself, no. And what would Jace do if I was pregnant? Would he be happy? Would he turn away from me? Why had these thoughts never occurred to me before? Now I was even more worried about the outcome.

It was time to see the results. I picked the test up with shaking hands and looked at what was displayed. It was positive. Oh, Angel. What was I going to do?

"Izzy!" I called, only loud enough for her to hear me through the door.

"What? Are you okay?"

I showed her the test, "It's positive. I'm pregnant," I said starting to cry.

"Don't cry, Clary. Everything will be okay," she said reassuringly, "Do you want me to get Jace now?"

"Yeah, but don't tell him. I should be the one."

Izzy left the bathroom and headed out into the hall, and nearly ran into Jace.

"Can you do something to help her feel better?" he asked.

"I can, but she wants to see you," she said.

I hid the test before calling to him softly. "Jace."

And he was beside me, rubbing my back as if I had been throwing up again. "Are you okay, Clary?"

I shook my head. I was so scared to tell him.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, "Clary, you can tell me anything. I'm here."

I took multiple deep breaths before I could get the first word out. "Jace, I know why I have been sick."

He gave me a hard look, and when I didn't continue, he said, "What is doing this to you, Clary?" His eyes almost looked as if they were on fire. This was so hard.

"Our baby," I said, almost a whisper, but I knew he could hear what I said.

"What?" He seemed to not believe what he was hearing.

"I have been sick because I'm pregnant, Jace. I'm pregnant with your child."

He only stared at me now. Minutes ticked by, and still he said nothing. I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled myself away from him and ran out of our room, down the hallway. "Wait! Clary!" I could barely hear Jace call my name, but I just kept running. When I hit a dead-end, I turned and ran another direction.

I kept going until I had found my way out of the Institute. I was right, he wasn't happy about this. I was alone.

"Clary, Wait!"

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know if you want more. Just warning now, I don't update often, but I will try to keep it coming.**


	2. Chapter 2: What Now?

Chapter 2: What Now?

My running continued, through the park, past the house I no longer lived at, straight to Luke's shop. I stood outside for a few minutes before deciding this would be the best place for me until I was ready to face Jace again, if I ever was.

"Luke! Are you here?" I yelled, "Luke, something happened! Please!"

He came running from the storage area, his face looked as if he were ready to kill something. "What is it, Clary?" he asked, looking for danger as he spoke, "What happened?"

I felt tears pour down my face, making Luke take giant steps to wrap his arms around me. How could this have happened? Why did I let it?

"It's okay, Clary. You know you're safe here. Shh, it's okay. Tell me what happened." His voice was gentle, and that helped give me a little control over my hysterics.

"Luke, I-" maybe this wasn't my best idea. He was going to go look for Jace as soon as I told him. But it was too late to change my mind now. "I'm pregnant!" I sobbed.

"You're what!" He said it sharply, but not loud. "Clary, where is Jace?"

"I left him at the Institute. I ran. He didn't say anything when I told him. I'm alone. I-"

"Clary, calm down. Take deep breaths. We will figure this out, but for now you need to go lay down. Relax, get some sleep. I'll call your mother and-"

"No! Don't tell her!" I cried. If Luke was only going to look for Jace, my mom would kill him.

"Clary, your mother needs to know what's going on."

"I don't want her to know. Not yet at least. Please, Luke."

He watched me for a few seconds, probably deciding what would be best. He finally answered, "Okay, Clary. But you have to tell her soon."

I nodded before heading to my small room in the back. Luke was right, I needed to relax and get some sleep. I laid down and got as comfortable as possible before closing my eyes.

A few minutes passed by in silence. Then I heard the shop door open. I could hear Luke talking quietly, "What are you doing here?"

The response was almost shocking to hear, "I'm trying to find Clary," Jace said, "I thought she might have come here." He came after me?

"Why would she be here?" Luke said. He was covering, knowing I didn't want to see Jace right now, "What happened?"

"She told me some surprising news, and when I didn't answer, she took off." He seemed worried enough, considering he wasn't using his normal cocky tone, but that didn't change anything.

"What kind of news?" Luke growled, playing his part very well despite his already knowing.

"What?" Jace sounded confused and anxious.

"What kind of news, Jace? Does she know where Sebastian is? Does she know his plan? If you can tell me how bad the news is, maybe I can help you find her."

"I-She-" he was stuttering. This was not how he ever reacted to anything. "She told me she was pregnant," he finally said.

"And you said nothing? No wonder you can't find her, she doesn't want to be found!"

"It was a mistake! I'm trying to find her so I can apologize. I know I should have said something, I'm sorry. Please just keep an eye out for her. I would die if anything happened to her."

"Just go, Jace. I'm sure she'll turn up when she's ready."

The door to the shop opened and closed again. I took this moment to let the tears start falling again. Jace had come after me when I ran. He said he wanted to apologize. But could I really trust what I had heard?

There was a soft knock on my door, "Clary," Luke said, "Can I come in?"

I climbed out of my bed, my face streaked with tears, and opened the door.

"I know you heard all of that. You want to know what I think?" he said. I nodded, trying to dry my face. "He is concerned about you. He's scared to death of losing you."

"But he doesn't even want this baby, " I said.

"Just talk to him, Clary, he deserves that much. And who knows, he just might surprise you."

All that has happened today has been much to handle. I don't know what to do. "I don't think I can handle the silence again."

"I'll give you a day to collect your thoughts. If you can go to him yourself, great. But if you don't I'll tell Jace you're here. Either way, you and him are going to talk tomorrow." He left the room.

I didn't like this. I wanted to run farther away, but where could I go? And what about our child? Was I really going to run away like my mom had, not tell my child who their father really was?

But Luke had said Jace was scared of losing me. And how dare I compare him to my father? He was nothing like Valentine. Yes, perhaps he would spend the rest of his life trying to find me, but he wouldn't join demons to do it.

Right now, though, my body was telling me to get some sleep. I put myself back in bed and tried to not think about anything.

* * *

_"Clary, are you okay?" Jace said softly. The window was letting sunlight into the room, making his hair glow a brilliant gold. His eyes were worried, and I knew it was my fault._

_ "I think so," I replied, "But what you did, I don't know if I could ever forgive you for that."_

_ "Please, Clary, give me a chance."_

_ Should I? Maybe it wouldn't hurt. But maybe it would. So hard to decide on anything when I couldn't think straight._

_ "Just hear me out. I never meant to hurt you." He was begging, and it made my heart twinge. I wanted to give him the chance. He had always come for me, tried to keep me safe, helped put my life back together when it was falling apart._

_ He deserved it._

* * *

There was no light in my room, it must have been night. How long had I been sleeping?

My dream had helped me sort things out. Sometimes I hated that they were right. But Jace deserved a chance. I would talk to him when the sun came back up, not wanting him to get mad at me for traveling when demons loved to take over the streets.

Getting out of bed, I headed for the small bathroom that I had to myself.

"Clary, you alright?" Luke said from the front of the shop.

"Yeah, just going to the bathroom." I always forgot that his sense of hearing was better than a regular person's. But I was glad for it right now, it meant Jace wouldn't be getting past him unless I wanted him to.

"Have you made your decision?"

Not that I had much of a choice, "Yeah. I'll talk to him, but I have to go back to the Institute. I left my stele there anyways."

"Do you want a ride?"

"No. I'll walk. And if I'm right, Jace will still be looking for me too, so I might run into him on my way there."

I knew I would run into him. He never gave up looking for me, and he would circle back to every place he had already checked just to make sure he didn't miss me. I brushed my teeth to get the taste of bile out of my mouth, and hoped I could keep it together when I confronted Jace.

Time seemed to move faster than normal. The daylight came quicker than I had expected it to. I wasn't ready to do this. How could I be when the last time I saw him, he only stared at me?

But I had to. I told Luke I was leaving at dawn. I got dressed and said bye. Exiting the shop, I felt the cold breeze of the spring air and was about to head for the Institute.

"Clary," he said.

Jace had waited for me all night. He knew I was here the whole time. How strange that Luke hadn't known.

I turned around to face the boy I loved, a queasy feeling going through my stomach. He wasn't in his hunting gear, only wearing a pair of jeans and a black long-sleeve shirt. It made his golden hair seem out of place with the rest of his appearance.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked.

"Luke is good at pretending, but I could tell you had been here," he said, a sheepish grin showing, but not reflecting in his eyes, "Listen, Clary, I'm sorry. I just-"

I stumbled and was about to fall when Jace caught me.

"Clary? Are you okay?" he asked, easily supporting my weight.

"I-I don't-" I felt confused and disoriented.

He picked me up, "I'm taking you to the Institute. We can talk later."

That was the last thing I remembered happening before my world went black.

* * *

"By the Angel, Jace! What happened?" someone said.

I was no longer in his arms, but I was covered in blankets, lying on an uncomfortable bed. My guess on my whereabouts was the infirmary.

"I don't know, I found her and was apologizing and she almost fell over," he replied, "I picked her up to bring her here, and she passed out."

"This is all your fault!" Now I could tell who he was talking to. Izzy was on my side about this. "She needed you to tell her everything was going to be okay!"

"I know! How many times do I have to apologize to everyone? I never wanted this to happen," he said, putting emphasis on the word this.

What did he mean by that? That he didn't ever want to have a family with me? This was a mistake, I should have just stayed away. I sat up to get out of bed, ready to run again, but when I stood up I fell to the ground. Against my will I let out a pained hiss.

Jace came into the room, followed closely by Izzy, "What are you doing, Clary?" he asked, worry thick in both his expression and voice. He came over to me and tried to help me up, but I pushed him away.

"I'm leaving! You don't want this baby! I should never have left Luke's shop," I said, angry that I couldn't get my legs to work correctly. "Dammit!"

"Clary, calm down. I never said that. Just let me-"

"What were you just telling Izzy! You said 'I never wanted this to happen' didn't you?"

"That's not what I meant, Clary, please." His expression was heartbreaking, looking as if he were about to cry.

I didn't want to listen, but I couldn't live with myself if I made him cry and left. "Okay," I said quietly, lifting my hand for help.

He accepted the hand gratefully and helped me get to the bed. My legs were shaky, and I felt as if I were a porcelain doll that would break at the slightest touch.

I hadn't noticed until now that he was glowing, skin translucent. "I'm sorry for all of this, Clary. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. My only question is: what now?"

"I-I haven't really thought about it."

"Whatever you choose, I'll stand behind you," he said gently. He did want this baby?

"What do you mean by what I choose?" I asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

"Whether you want to keep the baby, or have an abortion," he replied.

My stomach flopped, "Take me to the bathroom!" Just the sound of the word, it made me sick. I couldn't do that!

Jace picked me up from the bed and ran to the nearest bathroom where I yet again emptied the bile my stomach contained, but this time was different. It was a sickly yellow/green color. I could feel him talking to me softly, but I couldn't make out what was being said. When I was done evacuating my body, I fell back into his ready arms, tears running down my face.

He was about to flush my sick down when he saw the disgusting color. His face turned to me, "Clary, when was the last time you ate something?" he asked

I couldn't remember. Did I eat something when I went to Luke's? Did I eat anything the day before I left the Institute? "I don't know."

He pushed the flusher before scooping me up again, and headed for the kitchen. The look on his face now was almost scary. "Why haven't you been eating anything?" he asked, "Why aren't you taking care of yourself?"

I buried my head against his chest. I guess I had been too stressed about everything the last few days to really comprehend that I wasn't taking care of myself. "I'm sorry," I mumbled into his muscled chest.

Jace's grip tightened, and I could feel his temperature rise, He was losing control.

"Jace! Calm down!" I cried, "You're losing your control! You're going to burn me!"

He stopped in his tracks and set me gently on the floor. He was only staring at me, he looked angry. I felt a tear slide down my face, and I couldn't hold it anymore. Salty liquid ran down my face, snot started to pour out of my nose, and I was gasping for air. I was hysterical.

"Oh, Angel, no! Don't cry, Clary, please." Even though he was trying to calm me down, I couldn't stop the tears from coming. His skin returned to normal again, and he sat down beside me so he could comfort me, "It's okay, Clary. Everything is okay. Deep breaths."

I have no idea how long we sat like this, but eventually I ran out of tears to cry, my breathing returned to normal, and Jace's comforting touch got through to me.

After all of this, I finally felt hungry, "Jace, can we get me some food now?"

I looked at him and found that his eyes were shining, a clear sign that he had been crying with me. "Yeah, and then we can go take a nap," he replied, his voice still thick with tears.

Why did I keep doing this to him? Was it my hormones already acting up? I hoped talking things through with Jace would help.

* * *

Things had calmed down. Our nap had been nice and relaxing with Jace's left arm supporting my head, and his right hand resting on my stomach.

Now that we are calm and rested, we needed to figure out what we were going to do. "So, what do you think we should do?" I asked him.

He contemplated, probably trying to avoid making me cry again.

"Jace, I want your honest answer," I said softly, "Don't worry about how it will make me feel."

Another minute passed before he finally answered. "I don't want you to have an-" I cut him off, placing my palm over his mouth. I couldn't hear the word again.

"Please don't say it. I don't like how it sounds or what it means," I said.

Jace removed my hand from his mouth before saying, "I'll take that as agreement. So, that leaves us with adoption or keeping the baby."

I hadn't even thought about the possibility of adoption, but now that I was, I couldn't stand it. The thought of someone else caring for my child disgusted me. "No adoption. I don't want someone else caring for our child," I said firmly, but calm.

"Are you sure, Clary? 'Cause we don't have to, if you aren't ready to be a parent."

"Do I detect an unsure tone, Herondale?" I said smiling, "I thought you were sure about everything you do."

"I am, it's just- Are you?" he replied.

"Of course I'm not, but was I sure about you the first time I saw you? Did I think you were safe to be around?"

His famous smile flashed momentarily before he said, "I guess you're right."

There was a sudden commotion down the hall, yelling mostly.

Jace wrapped himself around me protectively, the noise getting closer.

"Where is his room, Isabelle Lightwood! You tell me right now!"

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Tell me!"

Jace let go of me and grabbed his father's dagger, walking to our bedroom door. He positioned himself to be ready to strike if necessary when he opened the door. Slowly, he opened it and scanned the hall before dropping his dagger, the color in his face draining before Heaven's Fire turned his skin clear. "Oh on," was all he managed.

"Jace?" I said quietly, "What's wrong?"

"Clarissa Adele Morgenstern!"

Only one person would use my full name in this sort of rage. Jace backed away from the door to reveal my mother standing rigid with anger.

"Mom?" I said, acting like I didn't know why she was angry with me.

"Don't act innocent! I know what's going on! You're pregnant!" she screamed at me, "Give me a good reason to not kill Jace!"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry about how long it took everyone... Really busy with school and work. Thank you to everybody who reviewed and stuck around to get more. I will try to get the next chapter up asap. Thanks again :)**


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